Weekend Edition: Bavarian Breakfast

WARNING: Easy and simple and healthy is not necessarily the name of the game of this post, but fun certainly is.

This weekend, my friend Michael and I traveled to the other (slightly lesser) side of the PA turnpike for a reunion of sorts. We joined residents master-chef Noah and sarcastic-comment-master Jeff along with visiting master-moocher Shubham. Of course, cooking ensued, the highlight of which was one Bavarian breakfast, part of which was our Saturday morning project, soft pretzels. This is the recipe that we quadrupled (and holey schnikies, it was a lot of pretzels) while listening to some German rap. My suggestion to make an applesauce substitution for the two sticks of butter that this called for when quadrupled was swiftly rejected by all gentlemen present.

The music: "Die Fantastischen Vier - Einfach Sein"



The recipe: Homemade soft pretzels

Ingredients
• 1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 package active dry yeast
• 22 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 1/2 cups
• 2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
• Vegetable oil, for pan
• 10 cups water
• 2/3 cup baking soda
• Pretzel salt

Directions
Combine the water, sugar and kosher salt in the bowl of a stand mixer and sprinkle the yeast on top. Allow to sit for 5 minutes or until the mixture begins to foam. Add the flour and butt, mix until well-combined, and knead until the dough is smooth and pulls away from the side of the bowl, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Remove the dough from the bowl, clean the bowl and then oil it well with vegetable oil. Return the dough to the bowl, cover with plastic wrap and sit in a warm place for approximately 50 to 55 minutes or until the dough has doubled in size.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Line 2 half-sheet pans with parchment paper and lightly brush with the vegetable oil. Set aside.
Bring the 10 cups of water and the baking soda to a rolling boil in an 8-quart saucepan or roasting pan.

In the meantime, turn the dough out onto a slightly oiled work surface and divide into 8 equal pieces. Roll out each piece of dough into a 24-inch rope. Make a U-shape with the rope, holding the ends of the rope, cross them over each other and press onto the bottom of the U in order to form the shape of a pretzel.
(so this was done 32 times)

Place onto the parchment-lined half sheet pan.
Place the pretzels into the boiling water, 1 by 1, for 30 seconds. Remove them from the water using a large flat spatula.
Return to the half sheet pan and sprinkle with the pretzel salt (we just used kosher salt). Bake until dark golden brown in color, approximately 12 to 14 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack for at least 5 minutes before serving.
________________________________

Glorious
Add a special sweet Bavarian mustard, sausage and in the German way, Hefeweitzen beer for the true Bavarian breakfast. Noah did some sort of magic for the homemade mustard and Jeff and Noah collaborated on the homebrew, which tasted fantastic. Luckily, they didn’t get the alcohol content as high as they wanted so anyone could go to lab afterwards and do some milling, which is a procedure that apparently may take a stray finger if you’re not careful.

The after effects of eating an average of 5 giant soft pretzels each.

Pretzel-rolling creativity gone severely awry.

We rocked out to some German rap by Die Fantastischen Vier while making the pretzels: songs entitled Ernten was wir säen and Einfach sein. At the beginning of the post is the very German video for Einfach sein which of course, includes singing olives and dancing on bars.

The music strays far from traditional Bavarian music, which involves a lot of accordion and lederhosen, but is more fun to rock out to (see video). Some sample lyrics:
Und sie fragt ?Echt?? und ich sag ?Ja, ja?
Und sie fragt ?Echt?? und ich sag ?Na klar!?
Und sie kommt mit auf die Bude und sieht ? top aus?
Und ich sag ?Ich bin der Smudo, zieh dein ? Top aus?

(????????????????????????????????????????????????????)
A heavy language barrier makes my lyrical analysis extremely superficial. The songs are in German, the breakfast is German: what more do you need?

Auf Wiedersehen!
Julie